In many respects, having a child is transformative, so how can you launch or manage your business while you have small children?

When my daughter was born, I was employed and had the advantage of paid maternity leave. I loved maternity leave, and was in my groove, the bills were paid, I was contributing and navigating my way through life with a new-born. I was even baking! The house was clean and our little girl was thriving.

When that phase moved to unpaid leave, reality altered a little, I had considered whether to be a stay at home parent, but with financial pressures then landing solely on my husband and the desire to maintain the career I had worked so hard for, in some ways, it was an easier decision for me to go back to work, but I honestly believe that each path has its own joys and challenges. In any scenario, raising a child is thoroughly fulfilling, but a challenge.

I decided to start my own business. For me, I also found that I needed other paid work for my wellbeing. Being at home, indoors and with my baby all day was a blessing but also difficult as work provided me with the break I needed to feel that I could challenge the baby brain fog, but also for me to be a better, more balanced mother, wife and businesswoman.

Starting my own business was an idea I had floated doing over the years, but was terrified to walk away from a good salary and security to go it alone. Unpaid maternity leave showed me what that world could look like with no income coming in, so the only way was up in relation to my earning.

 I was no longer losing security – it was the mindset change I needed!

I also liked the flexibility of working to my own schedule and wanted to give our daughter as much focus as I could while maintain some resemblance of who I was as an individual with my own needs and wellness fulfilled, the timing was now right.

It is safe to say that having my daughter gave me the confidence and motivation to create a business to make her and I proud. Plus, I had developed a lioness complex and believed that if I could survive the initial few months as a new mother – in territory where I had no experience and we all survived (just!), surely I could launch a business in an area that I was experienced!

The biggest challenge in starting a business I found wasn’t actually the business itself at all. As a mother, it is the uncertainty in the capacity to balance your priorities and self-care.

To put into a business perspective, all of a sudden, your child has become one of your most demanding and unpredictable clients!

The aspect that still raises an eyebrow for me that I thought we had evolved from as a society is how mothers are the default parent when it comes to sacrificing career to manage the home.  Workplace insights recently published that only 27.8 percent of women are in full-time work or self-employed three years after childbirth, compared to 90 percent of new fathers. And while 26 percent of men have been promoted or moved to a better job in the five years following childbirth, the figure is just 13 percent for women – I can understand why, it’s the juggling of home and work that can be exhausting.

That said, thankfully with the advent of telecommuting and flexible schedules, we are seeing more and more examples of women in different industries who are successfully managing both their careers and motherhood.

The most significant things in your life today tends to be your family and your career, both of which need a lot of your time and attention. Growing a business while being present for your family is not always that simple.

Having a support system, establishing boundaries and having your family involved as you grow your business are essential.

I struggled, there is no doubt about that. For all the positives of finding the new me in the midst of all this change, acknowledging a part of my old self was gone now, priorities and my role had changed, forever. That affects your well-being, like any change or milestone in your life – it takes time to adjust.

We had a limited support network, which I realise now is more common than I initially thought. My husband and I were basically going it alone, but we had each other. It was a struggle. Even as a couple, my husband and I, who went into parenthood rock solid, started to buckle under all the pressure.

I watched a recent interview with Michelle Obama, she talked about how at times didn’t even particularly like Barack for the first 10 years of their parenthood journey, she felt she was making all the compromise, managing the struggle and the loneliness and taking the backseat to allow for his career. They’re 30 years together now, I think – her advice was to ride the initial storm but work to mind yourself and don’t lose yourself in the process.

In the early days, running the business and managing home life was tough, there were some very dark, lonely and isolating days.

I would have considered myself to be a resilient person but I knew the warning signs and because I felt them, I also knew something had to give. My options were to give up the notion of a new business and stay at home, it may help the mam guilt, save the constant juggling, but I knew I wouldn’t feel fulfilled as an individual, because that’s how I am wired.

So I decided I could either sink or paddle like crazy (I still can’t actually swim!) I sat and for the first time told my husband, who is also self-employed, how much I was struggling. We decided in the absence of a support network, we’d hire the support we needed, seek support for ourselves as a couple through counselling and I sought the help I needed as an individual with therapy, we were lucky to have the resources to do that. Part of that process was also reviewing our life, removing aspects that consumed more energy than providing value, there was some relationships that took energy I no longer had, and with that cleansing came new and fulfilling relationships that were nurtured and those much needed boundaries were put in place. 

Starting the business was and still is so much fun and fulfilling too – every day is new learning and whether securing clients, working with the team or just getting the invoices paid – I love it, It’s been a steep and rewarding learning curve and it makes me a better human who can then offer more to those around me. They say do work doing what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life – it’s very true.

Wind forward to now and we have a healthy, happy 18 month old dote that we count our lucky stars for every day. The business is thriving, and I have a talented team supporting me in the business. My marriage has turned the corner thanks to open communication and partnership – there’s nothing else a week of sleep and sun holiday couldn’t fix!

I’m no expert, but here are some tips that helped me deal with juggling business and motherhood.

Plan for the unplanned - make a clear plan of action for business & family

Most Sunday evenings, we call a family meeting and we’ll continue that as our daughter grows up. We plan the following two weeks around work, playgroups, appointments and other activity. My tip is to plan for potential chaos! When you sit and review, you’ll understand where your work pressure points are for the coming week, and if there is an unseen activity (like that creche flu or temperature etc) you at least know what in your week could potentially be juggled then, without having to do that in the middle of the chaos and adding to the stress.

Book out the hours you know you have for business and during this time, perform your professional duties to the maximum. And similarly for your children and your partner, forget for a while that you are a businesswoman and be present as a parent and partner. Book time for yourself and self-care in to your weekly schedule too, and stick to it.

From a personal perspective, my business goal is to work four days a week and Friday’s are booked off for a mother / daughter day. That’s what success looks like for me. We go to playgroup, then go for brunch and do something for the afternoon. It’s our time and is sacred to me as I know I only have a limited time with her until I’m not cool enough for her! So even if the whole week went to s*it and I ended up working late on a project, or had to attend an event, that one day is still something to look forward to for us both.

Your plan will keep you on track and ensure that you provide your children and your business the appropriate amount of time and downtime. It enables you to prioritise both your personal and family responsibilities while concentrating on your business's growth.

Have fun with everything you do

When combining work and motherhood, it is important not to try to do both at the same time. Both work and family will suffer. You must learn to distinguish between being "on" and "off" if you want to successfully operate a business and provide for your family. Try not to slip away to complete a task or check your work emails while spending time with your family.

Additionally, set boundaries, and avoid sneaking away from doing your job to complete household projects or other activities in your work time as you’ll only end up with slippage on both sides.

Build your network

What blocks your desire to develop and blocks your ability to succeed? As women, it could be the presence of stereotypical thinking, limiting beliefs. Fear of failure, fear of standing out, fear of what others will think.

Find successful women in your day-to-day or virtual circle, who are combining career and family and inspire you. I’d recommend joining a local business network in your area.

I am part of the Women’s Inspire Network and run the Louth circle, for women in business and we meet regularly. Similarly I am on the committee of Network Louth for women in business locally and I also am a Mentor for Mentor Her, a global network for women in business who need some guidance. They are all voluntary groups, but I get so much from them, it far outweighs the time I give as I am inspired every day by the power and resilience women have in balancing their lives. It’s been great to take some time out to have a coffee and chat about all things business, motherhood and life with likeminded women across the country.

Self-care

This really should be first on the list, but remind yourself to practice self-care by getting enough rest, engaging in social activities, exercising, pampering yourself and talking to someone if you need to.

There is a danger of parental burnout as a new parent, added with the extra strain of establishing a company. Parental burnout is similar to running into a wall. You suddenly find it difficult to think clearly and have a sense of loss of control. You can feel worn out, irritated, and annoyed, or you might think you're never providing enough for your family or the company.

Parenting burnout might progress to the point that you're unaware of how to stop it. You could try to push yourself more due to your tiredness, but you might accomplish less. If you can, find the time to talk to someone who will listen. Being able to talk to someone who wants to listen, not just give you solutions can be the best therapy, if you don’t have someone close who you can and have the means, invest in a therapist. We can spend money on hair, nails and fake tan and yet don’t take the time to invest in our mental and self-care. It’s worth the investment.

Crossing Boundaries When Beneficial

You might be able to include your family with your business, depending on its nature. As the employer, you can provide amenities like an area for play or schoolwork at work. As they become older, your kids might be able to join you in the business and get experience, make money, and spend quality time together. I’m a really strong advocate for instilling work ethic– this approach supports children with work ethic and to appreciate the value of money and what it takes to earn it.

Be flexible and open-minded

When running a business and raising a child, flexibility is a must. Life is full of crises, unforeseen upheavals, and twists and turns. To keep your sanity, you must maintain an open mind and be adaptable in order to cope with the uncertainty of your new existence.

You ought to put together a family emergency plan just as much as a corporate disaster plan.

In Summary

Launching a company as a new parent could seem overwhelming. Both the company and the new baby require immense attention; neglecting either of them can have negative impacts and the risk of losing yourself in the gap between both is real.

By learning to devote full-time hours to both your family and your business, you give real quality and are present for both. So make sure you love what you do when you spend your non family related time.

Work to preserve your duty as a caring parent while simultaneously cultivating productivity and business.

More than 20% of businesses fail in their first year and 50% fail in their fifth, however the fact is that starting a business and having a child simultaneously is not impossible, my advice is to take each day at a time, ask for help if you’re feeling overwhelmed, enjoy the journey and build your network.